Category Archives: food

I Died For Your Enjoyment of a DQ Blizzard

Sent to me today, Christmas day: Does Dairy Queen think I’m Jesus? Tweet

Posted in food, holidays | Leave a comment

An Even Mega-ier Lie

Whistleblowers stand up for what they know is right, even if speaking the truth could lead to threats and retaliation, and maybe even their own death. There is a long history of whistleblowers in the United States. Serpico taking on … Continue reading

Posted in food | 4 Comments

Mrs. Peacock or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Just Use the Bathroom

You’re out with some friends at a restaurant. You walk to the bathroom and are faced with two doors, one for the men’s room and the other for the women’s. But instead of being clearly labeled as such, you see … Continue reading

Posted in baltimore, bathrooms, food | 6 Comments

A Moment With Krispy Kreme

Fellow Voters, I need a moment alone with Krispy Kreme, if you wouldn’t mind. Feel free to avert your eyes, step out of the room, whatever you need to do. Krispy Kreme and I need to have a conversation just … Continue reading

Posted in food, krispy kreme, washington dc | 1 Comment

Openin’ Pickles

We prepared the pickles. And they sat. But as I waited to open the jars I also planned. I knew that these pickles would taste glorious and I wanted to properly mark the occasion with an equally glorious “Pickle Opening … Continue reading

Posted in beatles, food | 1 Comment

Makin’ Pickles

Claussen. Vlasic. The little pickle on the Heinz ketchup bottle. These are all famous pickles. But do they taste good? Eh. Until a few months ago, I’d been walking through my life one pickle at a time, occasionally tasting a … Continue reading

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The Mega Lie

Dear Mars, Incorporated: You have made a grown man cry. You have brought a 26 year old man to tears simply by the sheer magnitude of the disappointment you have caused me. What is it, you ask, that has caused … Continue reading

Posted in food | 3 Comments

The Spork

Just in case you were worried, the spork lives on, currently taking up residence at your local Taco Bell. The spork should not be confused with the knork, which is very quietly “revolutionizing over 1,000 years of dining.” Tweet

Posted in food | 2 Comments

Learning to Eat, Again

I’ve always been a fast eater, gobbling down as much food as I could as quickly as possible. I think this might actually be a Gerard family trait, or at least that was the joke. “If you didn’t eat fast … Continue reading

Posted in food, Subway | 4 Comments

Plato’s Palate: Home of the Ouzo Burger

Ouzo (oo-zoh) Burger: “Deliciously marinated with herbs, spices & yes, Ouzo Liquer. 6 oz. pure beef with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, mayo, crushed cherry peppers and feta cheese spread.” The Ouzo Burger is made at Plato’s Palate in Bethesda, Maryland and … Continue reading

Posted in food | 5 Comments