Man, am I easily influenced by food commercials. I could be passed out on the couch after cramming myself full of Thanksgiving dinner; a McDonald’s commercial could come on advertising a special just-for-Thanksgiving Stuffed Turkey Cranberry Shake and you bet I’d be craving one instantly! (by the way, I’m a genius because that shake would [...]
Sent to me today, Christmas day: Does Dairy Queen think I’m Jesus?
Yes, it’s Thanksgiving time and we’re all very thankful for things like friends and family and cute dogs and lollipops and Miller High Life 6-packs being so damn cheap. But I think during this time of year we should also declare the things we are unthankful for. So here are 10 things I am NOT [...]
Once upon a time there was a boy with very little hair, but still enough that it required shampooing every day. Not much shampoo — just a dime-size or less drop of Pert Plus into his hand, then on his scalp, rinse and do not repeat. The shampoo came from a green Pert Plus bottle [...]
Yesterday, I became a man. I carved the family Thanksgiving turkey for the first time. I was lounging downstairs on the couch in front of the TV watching football, like a man should (or was it the “Everybody Loves Raymond” marathon that I was watching?) when I heard my mom shout, “Adam, we need a [...]
An Open Letter to Stephanie Abrams of The Weather Channel Dear Stephanie, On July 4th I was watching The Weather Channel to find out what might be in store for me before my friends and I headed out to enjoy our share of barbecue and fireworks. The normal slew of colorful maps and boring meteorologists [...]